I have no idea anymore why I thought that a stranger hearing me pee in the dark was like THE WORST FAUX PAS EVER when actually, talking to a stranger in the bathroom WHILE YOU ARE PEEING, unless you are asking for toilet paper, is creepier.  Then I came back and told the studiomates what I did, hoping for sympathy, but you should never ask for sympathy from cartoonists.  I’m blaming this all on the migraine when the reality is probably that my first grade teacher was RIGHT and I am socially retarded.

Learn from my mistakes, that is all I ask of you.

Part One of Two:  I get horrendous migraines, just awful ones, and don’t think very well during them.  (Some would argue that I don’t think all that well at any time.  Probably I should make a category on here for Poor Impulse Control comics.)

Lights really bother me during a headache, so it was so nice to find a cool dark place at work.

Oh my god I hate the mouthguard.  On the other hand, I totally want him to wear it to work one day.

I only learned to drive for real about four years ago.  An amazing number of cartoonists I know don’t know how to drive.  I think it’s because of our exceptional small-motor skills and hand-eye-coordination – driving is more like a large-motor skill.  Right?

Actually I think it’s mostly because we’re all adult babies.

Yes, it’s really spelled “orphant” in the poem.  I guess it was supposed to be the way a poor little orphan girl would talk?

Hello!  Hello hello.  There have not been enough comics about poo on here recently so I’m fixing that.

Anyway, yes, so, whippets!  Here is a picture of tiny baby Leda, in real life.  (Yes, she’s black in real life, and not in the comic.  I also have pupils in my eyes in real life.  Deal with it.):

Baby Leda

Leda and Bunny Rabbit

Here she is NOW:

Glargle

My mom, just yesterday, proudly reminded me that she tried to get me to eat asparagus by saying it was “people grass.”  I said I still didn’t understand how that was supposed to make me want to eat it.  She said, “Well, the dog would go out and eat grass, so I told you asparagus was grass for PEOPLE.”  I said, “Mom, the dog ate grass to make itself puke.”

Sorry for the weirdnesses about what the site looks like at the moment.  There was an upgrade, I guess, so now I have to figure out how to fix what the upgrade did.

Dudes!  I am totally sorry for not posting for a week or two.  I was in Cannes when my passport was stolen working doing something only partially comics-related.  However, I am back now, and I missed all six of you terribly.  Did you miss me?

This doll was REAL, I swear. BOOBIES.  It grew BOOBIES.  I guess it also grew taller but mostly I just remembered the hard little boobies.

This doll would have been just as intriguing for different reasons, I bet, if I had been living in the UK.

It must be noted that I am the most unreliable of narrators.  It’s not really that I LIE.  It’s just that I don’t always tell the TRUTH, you see.

Extra points if you can identify who is who in the comments.

There are certain types who are there at every single convention.

I originally did this as a Portland-centric strip but it was mostly only funny if you were a)a cartoonist and b) lived in Portland.  Hopefully this is still funny re-vamped.

Thank you to everyone who came to see me and especially to those of you who bought the Meen collection at the Stumptown Comics Convention on Saturday and Sunday!

Today’s comic: I went on a lot of really, really bad first dates.  These are the exact moments where I decided to ditch out.

I’m not including the guy who hit on me by telling me his name was Josh, asking me to go get coffee with him, and then giving me his number on a slip of paper where he wrote his name down as “Jeremy.”   Or the guy who took his mom along on a first date.

I wish I could use a hand puppet for a stand-in EVERYWHERE.

Part one of a thrilling three-part story!  Okay not so thrilling, maybe.

I know this looks like a perfect marriage from the OUTSIDE.

I have a weird dog, yo.

Hey, to my credit, I almost always agree that I SHOULD be in trouble for whatever the hell it is I did this time.

At least I’ll always look like I lost weight since the picture was taken, right?  RIGHT?

He was a feral kitten.  They clip the ear tip off a feral cat when they neuter them.  In his case, it’s like a big doughy adult baby had the word HATE tattooed across his knuckles.

In which I ROCK as usual.

I work at a comic book studio, for real.  This is an older strip, but it’s still not a bad intro to my studiomates.

I am the Omarosa of tampons.

I think the cat is allergic to food.